she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
