Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
