Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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