she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
