Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
