He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
