he wants to bone in the snuggie
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
