They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize