Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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