She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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