new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
