she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
