you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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