So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
