She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
