hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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