I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
