At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
