Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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