Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently you make a good broom.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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