she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize