I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
