I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
