I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
