This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
