i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Congratulations! We have a period
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
