Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
