Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize