I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
