I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
