I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
