nutella sex= disaster
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
