do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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