I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
