Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
