thus making me awesome and them whores
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
