i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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