I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
