Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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