Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize