I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
