I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
