Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
it's great music for shaving your balls
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
