I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
