Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's never too late to be topless.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
