Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
