Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
babies were throwing up all over the place
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Ladies don't puke and tell
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
