yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
