dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you had me at cake vodka
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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