so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
