He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
