he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
