Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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