I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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