chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i think my cat just said my name.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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