Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
