i would punch a child for taco bell
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
did you just send me my own nude
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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