Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
