so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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