wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
