I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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